… but that’s okay.

Independently living for two months now made me ponder and realize a lot of things – things I wouldn’t have learned if I was still living in my comfort zone. In fact, I wish they’ve taught us this in school, or that I was raised ready for it. Well, I guess, learning it the hard way makes it a bit more rewarding, or so I tell myself.

But I’m not writing this post to talk about how difficult or costly it is to live by yourself in the city, I’m here to share an epiphany I had while I was doing or not doing (rather) my household chores.

Back then, we have a helper that does most of the things around the house and the only time I help out is whenever I wake up early and without hangover on Sunday mornings. During those moments, I quite disliked how meticulous the house has to be kept but I got no choice but to do as my stepmom likes, because after all, I’m still mooching off her and my dad.

Little did I know that her thing for cleanliness would set a standard for me as I leave the nest. During the first month in my condo, I diligently cleaned everyday (sometimes more than twice a day), without fail. My 24.0 sq. meter unit is tidier than I expected it to be. I’m a tad surprised, if I was being honest – I was never one to keep my room my tidy.

But then came long meetings, tedious tasks, fatigue from working out, and bouts of sadness and anxiety from a major issue my family had to go through that hindered me from doing my supposedly daily routine. There were moments that I’d rather be lying on the bed, doing absolutely nothing but listen to my breathing rather than sweeping off that bundle of hair fall on the floor. It wasn’t a complete mess, but it was for from my standard, let alone perfect.

It went on from time to time, when my emotions got the best of me. And then one night, as I was doing the dishes that’s been sitting on my counter throughout the day, it dawned on me: It’s okay.

It’s okay to come short of your standard.
It’s okay to fall far from perfect.
It’s okay to hit and miss, sometimes.
It’s okay to stay down for a while when life knocks you out.

What matters is that you keep going, you keep trying, you keep pushing.
Dory was right after all: just keep swimming.

Bye, Rolly!

In times of trouble and despair
when the world is dark, frightening
and heavy to bear.
When rains rage and heaven rumbles,
even as the skies hurl its terrors,
in Your tight embrace I find shelter.
In Your promise I seek refuge,
Your strength and grace I look up to –
my rock, I lay it all up to You.


I’m not the biggest believer and I have to admit that my faith needs a bit of rekindling. But in a time like this, when the Philippines is currently battling and trying to survive the world’s strongest typhoon of the year (#RollyPH), one of the things that really calms me is not the thought of the government making decisive and definitive actions (it’s damn hard to put your trust in it) but really just anchoring my hope on nature’s own way of weakening the storm and trusting in God’s wisdom and plans.

Blessed to be spared from the super typhoon’s wrath. (Staying w/ my mom until I move in to my own rented condo back in the city but that’s for another post)

The fact that I was able to still write and post right now means that I am lucky to have stayed in an area not being greatly affected by the raging storm. However a lot of our countrymen has been badly affected and whose livelihood and homes were destructed. My prayers, thoughts and help are with them. If you can spare the time to pray for them, I kindly ask you to do so. You can also try to lend a hand in this site to send relief food packs and other essentials to those in need: forthefutureph.com

Thanks and keep safe! 🙂